Networking?

A man called me last week. An older man. He's about fifty. He's quite short with a somewhat squishy face (I didn't elicit this from the conversation; we'd previously worked on a business project together, so I did know him). He wanted to meet me after work because he needed to 'get my opinion on something'. Rather reluctantly, I went along to meet him in the pub. He was wearing a black suit with a black polo neck on underneath. Not a good look; it made me think he was trying to hide something (another 20 years and a facelift perhaps).

He told me about his work situation and I offered my opinion. It seemed rather odd that he chose to speak to me rather than my boss as she has experience of the exact same situation and he's known her for over 10 years. I had put an immediate cap on our time together by telling him I had to be at a friend's party at 8pm. After letting him know about my new job and talking business in general, he made a few allusions to his perfect marriage.

By 7.45pm I decided it was time to leave. There was one taxi in the rank so he said we should share. On the way back he told me that I had really cheered him up. That he felt down and depressed before meeting me, and that we should meet up for drinks again. I pointed out that as I was moving to a new job there would be no need for us to meet up. He said he wasn't talking business he was talking about how he enjoyed my company. He said to me: "There are people in this world who are negative or annoying or rude. They irritate you, drag you down and drain you, but you, on the otherhand, are one of life's genuinely nice, intelligent and funny people and I really enjoy your company." It was a nice thing for him to say, but it made me feel akward and uncomfortable. The rest of journey was spent in akward and uncomfortable silence.

When I got home I contemplated things. Is it odd for a 50-year old married man to want to spend time with a 26-year old woman? Was he genuinely interested in my business opinion or did he have ulterior motives? Did my feelings of discomfort make me (unfairly) decide this guy was slightly dodgy? What was it that made me feel uncomfortable anyway? These thoughts swirled round my head for some time. I decided that I hadn't looked forward to meeting this guy, the conversation had been a drag for me and I didn't want to go out for drinks with him again. Whether he was nice, genuine, dodgy or dull, I didn't enjoy myself the way he had.

In the end, that's all I need to feel fine with saying no. It may not be the nice thing to do, but it's definitely the right thing to do.