some time off - finally!
I certainly packed it in last week. Much the same as I do at the self-service olive bar in Sainsbury's, I added more and more and stubbornly forced down the lid. A few people looked on astounded as I, somewhat more harassed than usual, got it all together - eventually.
Work was busy. I am truly a magnet for loose ends. In every job, I accumulate masses of them, and always in addition to a messy desk - a really messy desk. At 5pm on my last day my colleagues expressed concern (does it still qualify as concern if they are laughing heartily?) when they noticed I hadn't even started to clear my desk. Employing my trademark tidying move (large bin bag in one hand; full-span, catch-all sweeping manoeuvre with the other arm), I was done by 7pm.
Crazily, I'd arranged to meet Duncan and Moranna for a bite to eat before heading to an 8'clock appointment I'd made months ago. As I locked up the office for the last time at 7pm, I realised I had one hour in which to get from Leith to the west end - eat something - and then get to Marchmont. It was certainly ambitious (pronounced stew-pid).
I was in Pizza Express by 7.15 and managed to fit in a diet coke and some bruschetta before it was time to leave. I was sitting in traffic trying to head up Lothian Road when a man driving a van in the opposite direction rolled down his window and tried to tell me something. I spent about 30 seconds pressing the button to lower my window without any success, only to discover that I was repeatedly locking and unlocking the doors. I figured he was trying to tell me the hold-up was serious so I jumped into action. After a concerning number of illegal driving manoeuvres and repetitive strain injury in the middle finger of my right hand, I arrived at my appointment slightly late and excessively agitated.
I was far more organised the next day as I flew down to London to spend the weekend with Andrew. I was starving by the time I arrived at Paddington and decided to get a breakfast bagel. I sat down and began to eat it when I realised the man sitting opposite was watching me intently. He started rocking back and forward in his seat before leaving. I relaxed - a little - and then spotted him coming back. He sat down opposite me again, outstretched his arms and held the front cover of the magazine out towards me whilst continuing to stare intently. It was not the most comfortable eating experience I've ever had.
Andrew and I met outside his workplace (the National Gallery in Trafalgar Square) and he told me I was just in time to see the 'crazy pigeon-feeding woman'. As if by magic, she appeared armed with two large bags of grain. She scooped some up in her hand and about 3,000 pigeons descended on her - it was horribly fascinating. She walked round in a circle letting the grains fall through her fingers and the pigeons continued to land on top of the trail. It would have made an excellent Art-Attack. The wind generated by the pigeons' wings caused her skirt to flap. It took Andrew .000025 seconds to point out that she was wearing red knickers. I hadn't noticed at first, so spent a few moments with my head tilted trying to get a better view. I can now confirm she was wearing red knickers. We also had a bit of a discussion about whether or not she was really a man, or at least had been at some point. It was hard to get a good look at her face through the fog of pigeons but I noted she was wearing alarmingly bright red lipstick (surely the true travesty of the transvestite/transexual). Andrew suggested that she was maybe just trying to accessorize with the knickers. We remain undecided.
That night I slept in a tented room with a cat on my head. It was not the most comfortable sleeping experience I'd ever had (but it was still better than the time that guy died on top of me). Andrew and I sailed down to Greenwich swigging on our Red Bulls like a right pair of chavs (or pikeys as they say 'dan sath'). We headed to the Apollo Theatre that night with Lulu (the older woman Andrew lives with - she has a jewellery empire). We saw Kathleen Turner in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. It's undoubtedly the finest piece of theatre I've ever seen. Bill Irwin played George to Turner's Martha and stole the show. Go see it! We got the tube home debating how depressing the ending really is (for me - not really, for Andrew and Lulu - somewhat more).
On Sunday Andrew took me to Tate Britain to see the Gothic Nightmares exhibition. It was really busy which made it quite difficult to get round things properly. I liked a few of the paintings but found the display quite repetitive. Andrew decided to embarrass me while I was looking at the erotic section by loudly exclaiming that he knew he'd find me checking out the dirty stuff. To be honest, it was my favourite bit. I also liked Chris Ofili's Upper Room which consists of thirteen large paintings of the same monkey in a different colour. The pictures stand on elephant dung supports. I thought it was funky and cool and pretty fantastic as far as modern art goes. Andrew thinks I'm a philistine. We did agree on how much we both hated Constable though. Andrew pointed out that Constable influenced the impressionists and I said that I could see that they had copied his blurry style but they were better cause at least their landscapes and people were bright and colourful and less depressing. I'm so glad none of the Tate's hard-core faithful overheard me. I may have been thrown out for embarrassing them with such a high-level and intellectual analysis.
I caught the late flight home on Sunday night, looking forward to a whole week off. Sheer bliss.
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7 comments:
Some Thoughts....Freedom of speech surely comes with responsibility.Protest is just an expression of free speech. Would you consider racists comments, say chanted at a football match, to be free speech?
Still on the topic of free speech...What is your opinion on the Ken Livingstone verdict? Personally i think he is an idiot half the time and should have just apologised out of decency. However it throws up a number of issues. When is comedy going to get it in the neck, take cartman's constant Jew jibes at Kyle in South Park, very funny....but it is any different than what Ken did? Also it raises the issue that once you vote a guy in there is no way to do anything about him during his term.
Damn you and your persistent free-speech challenges! To answer your first question, having been on the receiving end of many a bigoted chant at football matches, and even on the way to school, I believe that people are perfectly within their rights to express their feelings about me (and my religion). Immersed in the old 'sticks and stones' philosophy from infancy, I take the same view on sexist, elitist, racist comments. I firmly believe that football clubs, players, fans and the press should condemn the low-mindedness of such opinions, but that those saying it should not be fined or jailed. Which leads us nicely onto the good old Mayor of London. I will exercise my right to free speech by stating that I think Ken Livingstone is a fanny. I think his comments were in poor taste and an extremely foolish thing to say but I do not agree with his suspension. In situations like this I would hope that people make their own minds up and vote to remove him from office at the next election if they feel particularly strongly about his words. Likewise, the historian who has been jailed for denying the Holocaust. To deny that the Holocaust ever happened is ridiculous in the extreme but I think it is interesting to speculate on things we take for historical fact. That this man asserted that the Holocaust didn't occur should never have warranted a jail term.Condemnation in the press and by his peers in academic circles should suffice in such a situation. I agree that this raises serious questions about people in public office and also about how far comedy can go. Comedy has certain protections in that it is never intended to be taken seriously, while those in public office - we hope at least - are.I think South Park should be applauded for it's gattling gun approach to all cultures, religions, etc - at least it shows equality in its comments. I think that as a country Britain is too quick to protect minority groups (Muslims, Jews) in the face of free speech, while expecting Christianity to put up with it.Just think of the number of cartoons satirising God/the Pope/Archbishop of Cantebury over the years without much comment at all in comparison with those Danish cartoons. To repeat, I think people have a right to express their opinions and beliefs without fear of jail or monetary loss. The other side has the opportunity to counter the view and the public (often speaking through the press) can condemn any opinions it finds factually incorrect or distasteful. Words should be combatted with words - not imprisonment. But that's just my humble opinion. Feel free to publicly disagree with everything I've said and stand for - it is your right to do so if you wish.
Should fans that chant such things be banned form clubs? I disagree with the guy denying the holocaust being jailed, its the whole worls is round argument. My issue with the Livingstone incident is that, fair enough we can vote someone in, but there is currently no process in place for those voters to act against there elected representative if they are unhappy with them. In terms of the cartoons there is a distinct difference between satirising christ and mohammed in visual form as the issue with the later is not the fact that the prophet was satarised but more the fact that his representation in any visual form goes against a fundamental part of the religion. Now i dont disagree with anything around the cartoons becasue there was no ban, only protests. I believe in free speech but i also i believe in sensitivity, cultural awareness and a society of tolerance, which basically boils down to thinking before you open your gob and considering the consequences of excersising your free speech. I do not believe that people should be locked up for what they say, unless what they have said leads to actions causing physical harm to others.
I concur. I too believe in sensitivity, cultural awareness and the acceptance (and indeed celebration) of 'differences' as I believe this is what makes society more tolerant. I believe this extends to differences of opinion and the right to express these. In my humble opinion, one of the biggest travesties of British society at present is our bizarre need to encourage a homogenous culture. Personally, I think we should continue to use the word 'Christmas' rather than 'season' whilst learning more about other cultures, religions and differing lifestyle choices/needs.
On the Ken Livingstone thing - I think there should be the opportunity to suspend or censure an elected official for serious misconduct/mental illness; I just don't think the Red Ken's comments warranted anything more than condemnation by the public and press.
It's a tricky issue because government/society can be seriously disrupted if we are acting on whims. Think of all the school teachers who have been suspended for months whilst claims of paedophelia (subsequently revealing them to be innocent) were investigated. At the end of the day, it's all about balance and the ability to dismiss certain things as common stupidity rather than getting our knickers in a collective societal twist.
Paragraph one i totally agree with that.....
We need to hook up for a pint soon, so much to discuss...dont get me started on the Dubai ports issue
Absolutely. Just give me a shout next time you're up and we can go for the jugular over some drinks. Maybe see if Cathy's free - I know she'd love to join us.
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