(reluctant) Observations on Quincy M.E

My week of leisure found me, much the same as my student days, tucking into lunch in front of the TV. Most unlike my student days, the lunch I was tucking into comprised poached egg, parma ham and capers on a slice of sunflower and honey toast. To add gold leaf to such a luxurious scene, the egg was one of those pastel-coloured, free-range, organic affairs that they don't stock in Tesco Metro. Yes, I measure my progress in life by the food I eat and, on the whole, am happy with my development over the last four years. Today, it may be Laurent-Perrier and boudin noir truffles that take my fancy; you just never know.

Anyway, I was enjoying said lunch and reading the newspaper with the TV on in the background. Normally I wouldn't stand for having the TV on whilst reading but the remote control was all the way over on the other sofa and my butler had popped out to get some more pastel-coloured eggs. At some point TV won the battle for my attention (no I'm not proud) and I began to watch Quincy M.E. Whether or not Quincy had M.E is unclear, but he was markedly sluggish in all action scenes. The belligerent Californian (is that an oxymoron?) coroner is an old favourite from my uni days and I remembered him well. Each episode goes roughly like this:
Dead body turns up on Quincy's slab; Quincy suspects foul play and rushes off to play detective; Sam works 24hours in the lab to establish proof; Quincy fights with his boss; Quincy fights with the murderers/blase parents/reluctant eye witness; Quincy mulls things over on his boat; Quincy makes a pass at a barley-legal teen (optional); Quincy fights with his boss again; Quincy makes plea to young people of America to give-up the drugs/sex/alcohol/punk rock music; Quincy makes clear his suspicions and threatens to resign if he is not believed; Sam finds the proof; Quincy makes big declaration; Quincy is hailed as a hero; Quincy celebrates on his boat with many weeeeemin (although many wee-men would have been funnier, albeit politically incorrect).

The episode playing this particular day saw Quincy admitted as a member of the jury in a murder case (yeah, like that would ever happen. Everybody knows that people with medical or legal knowledge, or any hint of knowledge at all, are never admitted to a jury, duh!). Quincy asks expert medical questions of every witness (because jurors on TV are allowed to do that people) and nobody minds much for the first 20 minutes. The prosecution is, understandably, getting a little pissed off with the esteemed doctor and requests he be removed from the jury. The Judge appeases the prosecution by supplying a character reference for Quincy. She says: "I know Dr Quincy and he is one of the most objective people I know". At this point, I actually started shouting loudly at the TV (always a bad sign). "What are you talking about?" I asked desperately, "Quincy is the most subjective person I know. He becomes emotionally-involved in every single case he works. You don't know Dr Quincy at all. I move for dismissal."

I was so disturbed by the fervour of my response that I have decided there will be no more daytime TV for the remainder of my days off. Damn you Quincy!