Two weeks ago, I was in London. I'd gone down to press pass issue 2 of the magazine (yeah, like I know what I'm doing). The yellow on the page looked a bit more mustard than it should so I asked if they could "fix it". They added a bit more blue, but it threw the complexion of the guy in the photo way off, so we went back to the mustard and I stopped making suggestions in favour of smiling and nodding.
Anyway, I got finished up at the printers earlier than expected so I headed back to City Airport. Unfortunately, I'd foolishly booked myself on a cheaper ticket and couldn't change it. Three hours to kill and not a BA lounge in sight. "Dammit", I thought to myself, "I'm going to have to pay for my own drinks." I walked up to the bar and ordered myself a margarita (a steal at only £8.50). I took it through to the new (but not business) lounge and sat down.
I was due to participate in an audio call to the US about issue 3 and had to dial in from my mobile. After the call, I laughed myself silly for a full 10 minutes because it was almost exactly the kind of fantasy grown-up scenario I imagined when I was a kid. When I was about 10 or 11, high on Dynasty and 80s hedonism, I used to pretend I ran an international magazine and that I was always jetting about making important phone calls. So OK, it's not Vogue (nor anything like it), and it was City Airport and not New York, but still! It's not bad. If my 10-year old me, had been watching the now-me, I think she would have thought 'that's what I want to be' (except thinner, better looking and more glamorous - obviously).
That little recollection got me to thinking about the fantasy job I had before that. Yes people, I was the proud owner of a skateboard repair shop, which I operated out of the hut in our back garden. It was like being a mechanic ... but just for skateboards. The repairs were pretty limited to be honest - tightening or slackening the wheels. However, I was ambitious and subsequently branched out into skateboard design. Unfortunately, none of my imaginary customers ever commissioned a design, but there was a lot of critical acclaim (in my head - and the newspaper articles I used to write up). I'm going to stop now because it justs get more and more sad.
I did have friends as a kid. I think. And I definitely never hurt any pets. Honest.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
On trying to be a good citizen
Today at work, I gave blood. I'd been put on a 12 month ban following my Cambodia trip, so it was good to finally do it again. It was my ninth donation and, apparently, I get a badge the next time I donate. I'm trying to put that across and sound like a good citizen, but it's not really that impressive, as if I'd stuck to my three times a year promise I should have donated around 30 times by now. Hmmm.
As always, the form you have to fill in causes me no shortage of dilemma. One of the questions is 'Have you ever had sex with a man who has ever had sex with another man?' I mean, how are you supposed to know that? Occasionally I flirt with the idea of telling them about that one guy. The one whom I wouldn't be surprised to hear is actually gay. But I don't know for certain and it might just cause more hassle than it's worth - like the time my mum let slip my grandma was dead when she was trying to cash in my grandma's astronomically high BT shares. Bummer.
The other question that causes me problems is the one that asks 'Have you ever had sex for money?'
Now technically, the answer to that is of course 'no', but I have done it out of pity. Once. And I know a few people who have done it for jewellery. Oh, and one person who did it for a sports car. So what's the big difference? Why don't they just ask 'Are you, or have you ever been, a prostitute?', rather than making people who aren't prostitutes feel bad about themselves when all they're trying to do is be a good citizen.
Obviously the reason I would feel bad about myself is because I know that 'pity' is not a positive reason for having sex with someone. However, I also feel bad because at least the prostitutes had the good sense to get paid for something they didn't really want to do. So here's a new slogan for the Blood Donation Service ...
... Feel cheap and stupid:Give blood.
As always, the form you have to fill in causes me no shortage of dilemma. One of the questions is 'Have you ever had sex with a man who has ever had sex with another man?' I mean, how are you supposed to know that? Occasionally I flirt with the idea of telling them about that one guy. The one whom I wouldn't be surprised to hear is actually gay. But I don't know for certain and it might just cause more hassle than it's worth - like the time my mum let slip my grandma was dead when she was trying to cash in my grandma's astronomically high BT shares. Bummer.
The other question that causes me problems is the one that asks 'Have you ever had sex for money?'
Now technically, the answer to that is of course 'no', but I have done it out of pity. Once. And I know a few people who have done it for jewellery. Oh, and one person who did it for a sports car. So what's the big difference? Why don't they just ask 'Are you, or have you ever been, a prostitute?', rather than making people who aren't prostitutes feel bad about themselves when all they're trying to do is be a good citizen.
Obviously the reason I would feel bad about myself is because I know that 'pity' is not a positive reason for having sex with someone. However, I also feel bad because at least the prostitutes had the good sense to get paid for something they didn't really want to do. So here's a new slogan for the Blood Donation Service ...
... Feel cheap and stupid:Give blood.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
What's new with you?
Things with me are good. Really good. The majority of last year was a tough slog. Mostly just because of work. It was all worth it in the end though. Sinead and I had a fantastic time on our round-the-world trip. I think the fact that I worked so hard for it made it all the better. I'm not quite sure where I found the energy in the end, but I'm glad I did.
Another thing that made it better was the fact that I'd somehow managed to secure myself a much more nteresting and challenging new job for my return. This meant I was able to resign from the Cook Islands and flick it at the very people who had made things so tough for me, and enjoy my holiday in the knowledge that I'd never have to return to Mordor ever again. Woo. Hoo.
I have had plenty embarrassing escapades over the last six months and, knowing me, this is something that's likely to continue. I promise I'll try and document them all here.
Another thing that made it better was the fact that I'd somehow managed to secure myself a much more nteresting and challenging new job for my return. This meant I was able to resign from the Cook Islands and flick it at the very people who had made things so tough for me, and enjoy my holiday in the knowledge that I'd never have to return to Mordor ever again. Woo. Hoo.
I have had plenty embarrassing escapades over the last six months and, knowing me, this is something that's likely to continue. I promise I'll try and document them all here.
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