Lesbian, Prostitute or Lesbian Prostitute?

Ah le weekend! It came with a huge sigh of relief and a good deal of anticipation.

Departure Lounge had been in the diary for some weeks and Kerry's Caribbean party had been in for even longer. I left work early on Friday and spent a long time pampering myself and getting ready. I wanted to make an effort for Departure Lounge and decided to liven up my outfit just a tad. It was a black t-shirt with an open back so I decided to wear it back-to-front - as you do. For a splash of colour (and, mostly, to cover my bra) I wrapped a blue/green/yellow scarf around my breasts. I was pleased with the look and set off for The Scotsman hotel to meet Katie.

I walked into the North Bridge Brasserie and everybody stared. While my attire was perfectly acceptable for a Departure Lounge party girl, I looked a bit too much like a working girl for The Scotsman. It was 2For 1 on champagne cocktails so I took the liberty of ordering raspberry bellinis. Katie showed up and we filled each other in on recent events. We headed down to the Ladies' room before we left, where Katie told me the most outrageous feminine hygiene story I've ever heard.

At The Caves, we were duly stamped with the word 'entered' on our wrists, given some balloons and headed upstairs for a gin & tonic. Not long after, Lawrence and his friend Dave showed up. We got stuck in about the Sambuca and I confided in Katie that I was "totally pished". Downstairs, I got my groove back and shook it on the dancefloor. My top started to slide down to reveal my bra - not a good look. I discreetly managed to fix it and continued to dance whilst holding it in place. Unfortunately, my jeans are a little too big and they ended up halfway down my arse - an even worse look. Hey ho! It was still a great night.

Outside, Katie and I disuaded some Danish tourists from wasting their time and headed off with Lawrence, Dave and Marc for a game of golf in some secret gardens. We waited until 4.30am for it to get a bit lighter and crept into the walled garden. It was one of the coolest places I've ever been. It was massive and had spectacular views to Arthur's Seat. The early morning mist only made it more romantic. I'm so getting myself a key for that place one day.

I got back to my flat around 6am and slept until 8.45am when Kelly collected me to play in a hockey tournament. It was not one of my better performances and I collapsed into bed on getting back to my flat.

Kerry's Caribbean party was kicking off at 3.30pm, which was now an hour ago, and I still had to make my outfit. I scooped out a pineapple and made it into a bikini top. I then used the top of the pineapple as a hat. How cute! Sinead called to find out where the hell I was. I explained that I'd been playing golf until 6am and then played in a hockey tournament at 9am, so was understandably knackered.

I arrived at Kerry's at 6.30pm, to a full swing calypso. The place looked great and everyone had made a big effort with the dressing up. Katie showed up as a treasure chest, which Sinead remarked was "very lateral". Kerry asked if it was true that I'd been playing golf and hockey. I said that it was, to which she replied "What? Like a big lesbian?" The music was great, the cocktails were like rocket-fuel and the chat had everybody rolling on the floor.

I spent Sunday at my parents' place. It was really, really nice. We took a walk to the fruit farm, got some gorgeous raspberries and strawberries, had some ice cream in the sun and walked home again. My dad was on really good form, which I was glad about after last Thursday's lock-out episode. I fell asleep outside in the sun for a bit and then we headed out for dinner.

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend, but I think I need an extended rest to recover.

Good week, bad driving

After one of the most hectic, stress-threatening yet undeniably exhilirating weeks since my university days, I am on a well-deserved high. Ridiculously tight deadlines all met (client suitably impressed), 'disappointed' boss somewhat happier (she returned my greeting of 'Good Morning' on three occasions last week), requests to do freelance writing in addition to my new 'day' job (extra cash potential is massive), good party on Friday night (the gang was all there), recovery on Saturday wasn't too painful, and Sunday was both indulgent and relaxing.

Driving home from work on Friday, I was waiting behind another car to turn off Leith Walk and into McDonald Road. The car in front had, in my opinion, overshot the junction. Everyone makes mistakes, so I didn't pay too much attention and continued singing along to 'Tennage Kicks' on the radio. The lights turned red to halt the flow of traffic coming down Leith Walk and we were free to make our move into McDonald road. Annoyingly, the car in front didn't move. Problem: when the lights turn red, you have mere moments before the other traffic starts moving and collides with you. The car still wasn't moving so I (not having overshot the junction) made a split second decision to undercut it. Needless to say, as I made my move the car in front started to swing back in and the driver, finding my car beside his in the same side of the road, slammed on the brakes and peeped his horn quickly and repeatedly.

Seconds later, I came upon the traffic calming measures on McDonald road. I, again, found myself behind another car as we waited for a break in the flow of traffic from the other direction. The car in front made its move and I followed only to be peeped at again by a car speeding towards me.

Two peeps in almost as many seconds. That hasn't happened since I crossed a road on a windy day in Leith wearing my ridiculously short charcoal kilt, black micro-fishnet stockings and red lacy knickers. Verdict: on both occasions I was asking for it.

Alasdair, Sam, Louise and Anotnio's belated Burns' Night celebration on Friday evening was a resounding success. The haggis, neeps and tatties were all cooked to perfection and the water of life flowed freely. There was a good turnout too and I found myself happily chatting with Tim, Keith, Alasdair, Zoe and Cedric before Katie and her new man - Marc - turned up and I chatted to them. I also met Katie's ex-boyfriend Kenny for the first time, as did her new boyfriend (Marc) - ooooh the drama! Alex was there too - talking about his sexual exploits and ex-girlfriends.

Saturday and Sunday were mellow and largely people-free. I did my own thing on both days with almost no interruptions. Sheer heaven!

Let's just hope my driving improves this week or Heaven may become an everyday thing.