When I grow up ...

Two weeks ago, I was in London. I'd gone down to press pass issue 2 of the magazine (yeah, like I know what I'm doing). The yellow on the page looked a bit more mustard than it should so I asked if they could "fix it". They added a bit more blue, but it threw the complexion of the guy in the photo way off, so we went back to the mustard and I stopped making suggestions in favour of smiling and nodding.

Anyway, I got finished up at the printers earlier than expected so I headed back to City Airport. Unfortunately, I'd foolishly booked myself on a cheaper ticket and couldn't change it. Three hours to kill and not a BA lounge in sight. "Dammit", I thought to myself, "I'm going to have to pay for my own drinks." I walked up to the bar and ordered myself a margarita (a steal at only £8.50). I took it through to the new (but not business) lounge and sat down.

I was due to participate in an audio call to the US about issue 3 and had to dial in from my mobile. After the call, I laughed myself silly for a full 10 minutes because it was almost exactly the kind of fantasy grown-up scenario I imagined when I was a kid. When I was about 10 or 11, high on Dynasty and 80s hedonism, I used to pretend I ran an international magazine and that I was always jetting about making important phone calls. So OK, it's not Vogue (nor anything like it), and it was City Airport and not New York, but still! It's not bad. If my 10-year old me, had been watching the now-me, I think she would have thought 'that's what I want to be' (except thinner, better looking and more glamorous - obviously).

That little recollection got me to thinking about the fantasy job I had before that. Yes people, I was the proud owner of a skateboard repair shop, which I operated out of the hut in our back garden. It was like being a mechanic ... but just for skateboards. The repairs were pretty limited to be honest - tightening or slackening the wheels. However, I was ambitious and subsequently branched out into skateboard design. Unfortunately, none of my imaginary customers ever commissioned a design, but there was a lot of critical acclaim (in my head - and the newspaper articles I used to write up). I'm going to stop now because it justs get more and more sad.

I did have friends as a kid. I think. And I definitely never hurt any pets. Honest.

Seasonal Accounting Defecit

January is the worst month and if I could, I would replace it with a better one. A month in Jamaica perhaps. But since I can't, I've developed my own method of coping with it. This includes booking a week's holiday in Santorini (with a moped and 5 days of scuba diving) and the planning of a 5 week round-the-world trip with stops in Las Vegas-San Francisco-The Cook Islands-New Zealand-Australia-and Kuala Lumpur. The only downside is that I'm about to start pushing drugs to school kids in order to fund this.

I drew a life map to help me discover/focus on what it is I want to achieve in the short-medium term. This is what I came up with:

• Fitter (happier) healthier - my gym sessions and seed consumption, I feel, is an excellent start.
• Get a grip on finances - desperately needed since I have no concept of budget - at all. I once queried with exasperation the price of my weekly grocery shop. The checkout assistant leaned forward and pointed out, in conspiratorial whisper, that I'd spent £16 on fruit juices. I now drink a lot more tap water and blend my own smoothies. Still, there's a long way to go.
• Travel - This is mainly why the point above is so important. I want to be able to take at least one fantastic and far-flung trip every year. This year OZ, next year South America.
• Writing - Must, must, must finish writing book. Fingers crossed this will lead to Jessica Fletcher-style life of glamour, wealth and intrigue. Though, hopefully, point 1 in this list will mean that the glamour is less mauve tapered trousers with elasticated waists, and more Nicole Fahri evening dresses. And that, facially, I won't resemble an over-stewed teabag. (Note to self: extra suncream whilst travelling.)
• Back to Uni - For a conversion course in something more useful like psychology. I've realised I quite enjoy talking to people and it would be good if I could do this for a living (if Jessica Fletcher thing doesn't come off right away). I figure if I become a psychological counsellor, I'd have a job I enjoy more and also a potentially fantastic source of information for my books.

So that's pretty much what the life map looks like. I think the financial stuff underpins it all though, so I'm currently looking at ways to boost my income. I underwent a financial review at my bank last week. I'd pre-empted the pain by doing a thorough review myself beforehand - scary stuff. At the bank, I was asked a series of questions about my aspirations. Luckily, I'd already mapped out my life and knew that "maintaining current lifestyle and travelling" was all I was really interested in. They asked how much I'd need for my holidays and I took a rough guess at about £3K - £4k. Needless to say, their little graphs came back with a shortfall in the short-, medium- and long-term. But this was obvious as all I'd done was tell them that I wanted to spend more money than I actually had - duh! So I need to get a pay rise of more than 5K (after tax) or work an extra 20 hours a week, every week, for a year. That's actually quite depressing, because the first one doesn't have a snowball's chance in Hades and the second one would involve more work. Hmm.

That said, I do feel a whole lot better for knowing what I want and what I have to do to achieve it. Which is about all there is to smile about given the utter shitness of this weather.