My sunburn didn't give me too much grief on the flight to Sydney, thankfully. We landed at the airport - minus any sniffer dogs or customs incidents - and got picked up by the lovely people at Base Sydney.
Again, Base does very well with its accommodation - we even have an LCD TV this time. We were both feeling a bit tired and really hungry. Shin consulted the Lonely Planet for its recommendations in the vicinity. "Liverpool Street has a plethora of Spanish restaurants, Lis." "I'm always happy to eat tapas stuff and Liverpool Street is pretty close," I said studying the freebie map I'd picked up at reception. "Let's do Captain Torres Lis!" "Gladly".
We set off at pace to find the legend that was Captain Torres. We walked one block and discovered Kent Street had now met Liverpool St."OK Lis, he's number 73. Let's go." "Shin, Shin, he's there. Right across the road!" "Ha ha ha. This is perfect. This is a sign. We're going to love Sydney."
Captain Torres was small and busy Spanish bar/restaurant with a cavern style and rustic feel to it. We took our seats and smiled heartily over the menus. We got an excellent bottle of Rioja which turned out to be the second best bottle I've had on the trip. The best was the Frog's Leap Zinfandel from our first night in Vegas. I'm so tracking these babies down when I get back home. We ordered a good amount, polished it all off, and smiled all the way back to Base.
On Tuesday the weather was fantastic and we set off on our sightseeing walk. Through Darling Harbour, down to Sydney Harbour Bridge - which is massive, around the Rocks area which is really picturesque and has lots of lovely outdoor bars and restaurants. We continued on past the Ferry terminals and round to the Opera House. It's so cool seeing something that you've seen so often on TV and in magazines.
After that we walked round through the Botanic Gardens and past the big outdoor cinema. There were hundreds of people out running and exercising. They had little running groups with coaches and stuff. It was totally full on and was making us feel slightly guilty so we agreed that we were probably power walking and burning off lots of calories. I saw a billboard that said: 'You need to run 4K to burn off two chocolate biscuits'. It made me think about all the Tim Tams I scoffed in the Cook Islands ... and New Zealand. But it was lunchtime and we were heading to Fratelli Paradiso so I could unleash my inner squid monster.
We walked through Wooloomooloo and kept repeating it to each other in our 'Australian accents'. I popped into Wooloomooloo pharmacy to get some more solarcaine and then we headed onto Kings Cross - or the 'Prozzie zone' as Shin liked to refer to it.
At Fratelli Paradiso, we took our seats and tried to freshen up. I had the squid and Sinead had the risotto. I also broke with my own personal protocol and ordered a dry riesling (all that wine tasting in NZ convinced me that white wine is OK after all). The food was delicious and we felt recharged and ready to hit the shops.
We did hit the shops - about an hour later - but they were rubbish. We decided the shops only cater for Nicole Kidman types (6ft tall, 6 inches wide and earning more than 6 figures) or 14 year old Asian girls who want to dress head-to-toe in Hello Kitty stuff. The best we could get was the surfer dude shops like Roxy, Quicksilver and Billabong. But that was it. Thoroughly knackered after our 20 mile hike we went home, had showers and went back to Liverpool Street for more Tapas and wine.
On Wednesday we went down to the Rocks because a woman had told Sinead there was a Gap in the DFS Galleria. We got there to discover it was nonsense and the DFS Galleria offered only Louis Vuitton, Bally, Armani and Ralph Lauren. We walked across the road to the pier to catch the ferry over to Manly. It was a really nice trip and we got great shots of the Opera House.
Manly was lovely and we bought some more stuff from Roxy and headed down to the beach. I was keeping the thighs under wraps given their recently acquired 3rd degree burns, and Shin was trying to remedy the farmer's tanline around her neck from the previous day.
Sinead's cousin Derek was picking us up at 5.30 so, after an entire day spent lying in the sun and dousing ourselves in factor 30, we tried our best to freshen up. We felt thoroughly mingin' and laughed about how awful we looked. I had sand all over my neck and in my hair - stuck to the suntan cream that was in there too.
Anyway, Derek picked us up, gave us a little tour of Manly and took us home to meet his lovely wife Ails and their two adorably gorgeous boys. We had champers and guava juice - which is delicious - some nibbles, and hot showers - woo hoo!
Derek and Ails took us out for dinner and for drinks at the Wharf Bar. It was all great. Shin and I waved goodbye and took the ferry back to Sydney. It was almost empty this time so we stood up the front and marveled at the illuminated city.
Thursday was another hot one and we were going out to Bondi beach to meet up with Lisa T, who was starting her 3 week holiday here. We took the train from Town Hall to Bondi Junction and checked out the shops at Westfield plaza. Again, there were lots of designer shops but not much like H&M. I told Shin I was off to look in the chemist at their sunburn remedies. "OK, I'll go and look at the pies," she said. The chemist didn't have anything I didn't already have, but I was pleased to be able to go and look at the pies too. There was a huge selection at this place called 'Pie Face' and they all had little smiley faces on them. Cute.
We looked around at a few more shops and tried on ridiculous head gear in Meyer department store. I tried on an enormous hat. - "You look like you're in Dallas Lis. - and Sinead tried on a comedy turban with some jewels on it. We amused ourselves like this for about 45 minutes and then decided to go have some lunch.
After that we got the bus out to Bondi beach, walked on the sand, people watched, had ice creams and sat in the sun with a few beers. Lisa T showed up around five, having just flown into Sydney from the UK that morning! She said she felt out of it and showed us her swollen ankles, but after a couple of beers and some dinner, she said she felt better. We checked out the hombres and agreed that the specimens were of good quality.
Around seven o'clock a huge thunderstorm arrived and dropped big fat dollops of rain on us. We jumped in a taxi back to Bondi Junction where Lisa went up to her apartment to get some much needed sleep and Shin and I caught the train back to Base.
I had to buy an emergency bag to fit all my extra stuff in, but got a good deal from Magda the Polish woman in the bag shop. "Ah, Lisa, you are from Scotland. I am from Poland. We are neighbours." I would never have described Scotland and Poland as neighbours before, but given how far away Australia is and the fact that I have to sit on my ass for 24 hours!!!! in order to get home, I said: "Of course we are."
So, just that big flight home now.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Great Barrier Grief
Another glorious day in Cairns and we set off on our Great Barrier Reef Cruise. The boat was reputedly the fastest to the reef, which I was pleased about given my terrible habit of throwing up when I'm on one. Another bonus was the fact that it catered for snorkeling and scuba diving which meant Shin and I didn't have to book separate cruises to get what we wanted.
I sensibly took some of the anti-sea sickness tablets that were on offer and they seemed to serve me well. We got out to the reef and Sinead suited up in her anti-jellyfish outfit and headed out for a spot of snorkeling. I got tanked up for some scuba and set off. The Scuba guy had been running through a list of things we might see in the water - "turtles, clown fish, wasse and lots of Japanese" - surprise, surprise.
Annoyingly, the Scuba guys insisted on linking arms with everyone in the group. There were only five of us, but it still freaked me out. The old Japanese guy on my right kept doing breast-stroke arms and was getting dangerously close to my regulator. Then he'd let go of my arm to take some pictures and flap about frantically trying to get hold of my again. I was deliberately making my arm as inaccessible as possible and it turned into some kind of underwater Benny Hill sketch as he tried to catch up to me and link arms again.
Back on the boat we had a barbecue lunch and set off for our second reef spot. I decided to do a second dive for the bargain basement price of 17 quid. Knowing that I always feel less sick on deck than I do inside, I headed up to the sunbathers' area and set out my towel next to some girls wearing the tiniest thongs I've ever seen. They were all really brown and oiling themselves up. Still, with all my scuba and diving off the back of the boat I felt like Princess Di so I didn't mind lying next to the professional tan team too much.
Sinead joined me for a bit and said: "This is the life Lis. I feel like we're celebrities." "I know. I was just thinking I feel like Princess Di." "Ha ha. I feel like the paps should be taking pictures of me so readers back home can discuss my beach body."
My second dive was much better. The water was clearer, the colours more vibrant and I didn't have to hold anyone's arm. I saw some more clams but they weren't as big as the giant one in the Cook Islands, and I found Nemo. There were millions of them. I went up and did some snorkeling. Shin and I tried to take some pictures of each other under water, so we'll see how those turn out.
I headed back onto the boat so I could take up my position on the sun deck for the journey back home. The thong brigade hadn't moved - I think they must have been real celebrities. Anyway, it was roasting so I kept topping up my sun cream and I was glad when the boat started off for home and I got a bit of a cooling breeze. It was great. I was lying on a speedboat on the other side of the world, getting some sun, not feeling sick and being pleased with myself cause scuba counts as exercise. Total celebrity!
A Japanese woman wearing a leopard and zebra print kaftan (make your mind up hen) sat down beside me and started munching on a sandwich. It was really windy so every time she went to take a bit, some of it would fly out and hit me in the face. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she said picking her tuna off my face. At first I didn't say anything and her apology was enough, but it happened another 2 times so I lost it and felt compelled to say: "Will you please get your sandwich under control!" Gross.
She eventually went back inside and left me food free, which I was pleased about. As the boat came back into the harbour, I got my stuff together and noticed the tops of my thighs were looking suspiciously pink. "Arggh! This is not a good sign." Needless to say, I spent that night with my legs covered in Solarcaine and wet towels. To make matters worse, every second advert on TV was about skin cancer. "Quick. Turn it over Shin. I can't bear to watch." Admittedly, I was feeling distinctly less like a celebrity after that.
I sensibly took some of the anti-sea sickness tablets that were on offer and they seemed to serve me well. We got out to the reef and Sinead suited up in her anti-jellyfish outfit and headed out for a spot of snorkeling. I got tanked up for some scuba and set off. The Scuba guy had been running through a list of things we might see in the water - "turtles, clown fish, wasse and lots of Japanese" - surprise, surprise.
Annoyingly, the Scuba guys insisted on linking arms with everyone in the group. There were only five of us, but it still freaked me out. The old Japanese guy on my right kept doing breast-stroke arms and was getting dangerously close to my regulator. Then he'd let go of my arm to take some pictures and flap about frantically trying to get hold of my again. I was deliberately making my arm as inaccessible as possible and it turned into some kind of underwater Benny Hill sketch as he tried to catch up to me and link arms again.
Back on the boat we had a barbecue lunch and set off for our second reef spot. I decided to do a second dive for the bargain basement price of 17 quid. Knowing that I always feel less sick on deck than I do inside, I headed up to the sunbathers' area and set out my towel next to some girls wearing the tiniest thongs I've ever seen. They were all really brown and oiling themselves up. Still, with all my scuba and diving off the back of the boat I felt like Princess Di so I didn't mind lying next to the professional tan team too much.
Sinead joined me for a bit and said: "This is the life Lis. I feel like we're celebrities." "I know. I was just thinking I feel like Princess Di." "Ha ha. I feel like the paps should be taking pictures of me so readers back home can discuss my beach body."
My second dive was much better. The water was clearer, the colours more vibrant and I didn't have to hold anyone's arm. I saw some more clams but they weren't as big as the giant one in the Cook Islands, and I found Nemo. There were millions of them. I went up and did some snorkeling. Shin and I tried to take some pictures of each other under water, so we'll see how those turn out.
I headed back onto the boat so I could take up my position on the sun deck for the journey back home. The thong brigade hadn't moved - I think they must have been real celebrities. Anyway, it was roasting so I kept topping up my sun cream and I was glad when the boat started off for home and I got a bit of a cooling breeze. It was great. I was lying on a speedboat on the other side of the world, getting some sun, not feeling sick and being pleased with myself cause scuba counts as exercise. Total celebrity!
A Japanese woman wearing a leopard and zebra print kaftan (make your mind up hen) sat down beside me and started munching on a sandwich. It was really windy so every time she went to take a bit, some of it would fly out and hit me in the face. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she said picking her tuna off my face. At first I didn't say anything and her apology was enough, but it happened another 2 times so I lost it and felt compelled to say: "Will you please get your sandwich under control!" Gross.
She eventually went back inside and left me food free, which I was pleased about. As the boat came back into the harbour, I got my stuff together and noticed the tops of my thighs were looking suspiciously pink. "Arggh! This is not a good sign." Needless to say, I spent that night with my legs covered in Solarcaine and wet towels. To make matters worse, every second advert on TV was about skin cancer. "Quick. Turn it over Shin. I can't bear to watch." Admittedly, I was feeling distinctly less like a celebrity after that.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Smuggling and cuddling
We left a bright and sunny Auckland and touched down in a humid and wet Cairns. My tactic for getting my passport stamped on the page I wanted finally paid dividends and I felt really pleased with myself.
I felt even more pleased for myself when I was treated to the unexpected comedy of Sinead's bag being singled out by the Sniffer Dog. Shin doesn't like dogs ("I'm no animal lover Lis!" and her face was a picture when Sam the Sniffer Dog and his Nazi Handler decided they needed to check her bag. There was loud sighing, unmistakable body language and some 'what a complete waste of time. muppets!' head shaking. The Handler asked Shin if she'd been carrying any lavender seeds in her bag and I had to stifle my giggles. Sinead's eyebrows did a few Mexican waves before she (caustically) answered: "Lavender seeds? Eh, no - I don't think so." "What's this?" the Handler enquired. "That would be a chocolate bar. The sniffer dog found a chocolate bar Lis, fancy that!"
We got sent over to Customs for a bag search. I'd decided not to declare Snowball - the wooden turtle I purchased in Aitutaki for the purpose of adding to my menagerie of carved animals (I only have 3 - including Snowball - and I don't intend to get anymore lest I become one of those weird 'collector' people who have too many cats, plants, Royal Doulton dolls or heads in their freezer). Anyway, it's just a wooden turtle souvenir and I couldn't really be bothered with the hassle so I just ticked 'No' on the form.
The Customs Officer opened up my bag and pulled Snowball out. Sinead shook her head and distanced herself from me. Holding Snowball by his head right in front of my face, the Customs Officer said "You need to declare this." "Oh? Oh! Oh, I totally forgot about that." I started smiling enthusiastically and made my eyes go even bigger. "I'm really sorry. I totally forgot." I put my hands to my face in a fiddle-de-dee gesture. The Customs Officer fetches a Government leaflet and goes through it with me. "Right. I see. I can completely understand. Really? Of course. Absolutely. I'm terribly sorry. Have a nice day." "You too dear. Enjoy your holiday!" Sinead is still shaking her head. "You're a bloody nutcase, Lis. I saw you feigning great interest in her leaflet. Getting into Australia might be a bit more difficult for you next time. Ha ha ha."
We checked into the Bohemia Resort. Nice. Another decent shower and a hairdryer. Although the beds are on wheels and the room has a tiled floor so every time I sit down I roll about 3 feet. It's absolutely pouring outside so we're in no hurry to get changed and go out. I'm setting up my beauty counter in the bathroom when Shin calls me out frantically. I figured there was a spider or a crocodile in the room, but it turns out to be something even more unbelievable.
"It's Oprah, Lis. Bloody Oprah." I don't believe it. She's only been talking about Oprah since we left. We get settled down to watch. It gets better. That Gayle woman is on the show and I can totally see why the rumours exist. They're reclining on chairbeds in front of the studio audience and talking about their experience at the Spa. At the ad break we find out the show is called 'Oprah and Gayle's Spa Adventure', Sinead is laughing so hard those little tears are running down her cheeks again.
Oprah and Gayle are exercising to gay anthems with a group of 'lucky viewers' they are celebrating as 'America's Women Warriors of 2008'. "Oh my God Shin. This couldn't be more gay if the Village People were working out with them." Shin laughs, "They just about are. Look Oprah's all dressed up as an army chief and Gayle's got her sweat bands on." "This is hilarious. I can't believe this is on."
Just then we turned and looked at each other reclining on our own beds. I was lying in my pants and Shin was wrapped in a towel toga style - and we both had our specs on. We burst out laughing and through the giggling Shin managed to say: "Check us, Lis. We're more gay than them. Look at us! With our specs on like a couple of literary lesbos. Ha ha ha - this is too funny. I was laughing so hard I started to choke.
We went out in the pouring rain and booked onto a Great Barrier Reef snorkeling and scuba trip for Sunday then went back to the Resort to cook up dinner on one of the self service BBQs. Shin beat me at pool - twice. It turns out, I'm only good at it when my Dad points to exactly the part of the ball I should hit.
Whilst booking the Great Barrier Reef tour, I - magpie-like - caught sight of a leaflet showing someone cuddling a Koala. "I'm going to do that tomorrow," I told Shin. Sinead said she wouldn't be cuddling any disease-ridden Koalas but she'd come with me for the trip. At 0930 the next morning, we caught the Kuaranda Scenic Railway up to the Tablelands rainforest. It was a really enjoyable trip with some good stuff to see along the way. Our favourite spot of the day was a 70-year old woman who looked a lot like me. "Lis, that'll be you in 45 years! Quick stand close to her and I'll get a picture." I did and we laughed all the way to the Koala cuddling.
The Koala was so cute and the pics are great. I thought briefly about trying to smuggle it out of Australia but decided that it might be difficult to get a plentiful supply of Eucalyptus in the UK. I think I'll just look for one on EBAY instead.
I felt even more pleased for myself when I was treated to the unexpected comedy of Sinead's bag being singled out by the Sniffer Dog. Shin doesn't like dogs ("I'm no animal lover Lis!" and her face was a picture when Sam the Sniffer Dog and his Nazi Handler decided they needed to check her bag. There was loud sighing, unmistakable body language and some 'what a complete waste of time. muppets!' head shaking. The Handler asked Shin if she'd been carrying any lavender seeds in her bag and I had to stifle my giggles. Sinead's eyebrows did a few Mexican waves before she (caustically) answered: "Lavender seeds? Eh, no - I don't think so." "What's this?" the Handler enquired. "That would be a chocolate bar. The sniffer dog found a chocolate bar Lis, fancy that!"
We got sent over to Customs for a bag search. I'd decided not to declare Snowball - the wooden turtle I purchased in Aitutaki for the purpose of adding to my menagerie of carved animals (I only have 3 - including Snowball - and I don't intend to get anymore lest I become one of those weird 'collector' people who have too many cats, plants, Royal Doulton dolls or heads in their freezer). Anyway, it's just a wooden turtle souvenir and I couldn't really be bothered with the hassle so I just ticked 'No' on the form.
The Customs Officer opened up my bag and pulled Snowball out. Sinead shook her head and distanced herself from me. Holding Snowball by his head right in front of my face, the Customs Officer said "You need to declare this." "Oh? Oh! Oh, I totally forgot about that." I started smiling enthusiastically and made my eyes go even bigger. "I'm really sorry. I totally forgot." I put my hands to my face in a fiddle-de-dee gesture. The Customs Officer fetches a Government leaflet and goes through it with me. "Right. I see. I can completely understand. Really? Of course. Absolutely. I'm terribly sorry. Have a nice day." "You too dear. Enjoy your holiday!" Sinead is still shaking her head. "You're a bloody nutcase, Lis. I saw you feigning great interest in her leaflet. Getting into Australia might be a bit more difficult for you next time. Ha ha ha."
We checked into the Bohemia Resort. Nice. Another decent shower and a hairdryer. Although the beds are on wheels and the room has a tiled floor so every time I sit down I roll about 3 feet. It's absolutely pouring outside so we're in no hurry to get changed and go out. I'm setting up my beauty counter in the bathroom when Shin calls me out frantically. I figured there was a spider or a crocodile in the room, but it turns out to be something even more unbelievable.
"It's Oprah, Lis. Bloody Oprah." I don't believe it. She's only been talking about Oprah since we left. We get settled down to watch. It gets better. That Gayle woman is on the show and I can totally see why the rumours exist. They're reclining on chairbeds in front of the studio audience and talking about their experience at the Spa. At the ad break we find out the show is called 'Oprah and Gayle's Spa Adventure', Sinead is laughing so hard those little tears are running down her cheeks again.
Oprah and Gayle are exercising to gay anthems with a group of 'lucky viewers' they are celebrating as 'America's Women Warriors of 2008'. "Oh my God Shin. This couldn't be more gay if the Village People were working out with them." Shin laughs, "They just about are. Look Oprah's all dressed up as an army chief and Gayle's got her sweat bands on." "This is hilarious. I can't believe this is on."
Just then we turned and looked at each other reclining on our own beds. I was lying in my pants and Shin was wrapped in a towel toga style - and we both had our specs on. We burst out laughing and through the giggling Shin managed to say: "Check us, Lis. We're more gay than them. Look at us! With our specs on like a couple of literary lesbos. Ha ha ha - this is too funny. I was laughing so hard I started to choke.
We went out in the pouring rain and booked onto a Great Barrier Reef snorkeling and scuba trip for Sunday then went back to the Resort to cook up dinner on one of the self service BBQs. Shin beat me at pool - twice. It turns out, I'm only good at it when my Dad points to exactly the part of the ball I should hit.
Whilst booking the Great Barrier Reef tour, I - magpie-like - caught sight of a leaflet showing someone cuddling a Koala. "I'm going to do that tomorrow," I told Shin. Sinead said she wouldn't be cuddling any disease-ridden Koalas but she'd come with me for the trip. At 0930 the next morning, we caught the Kuaranda Scenic Railway up to the Tablelands rainforest. It was a really enjoyable trip with some good stuff to see along the way. Our favourite spot of the day was a 70-year old woman who looked a lot like me. "Lis, that'll be you in 45 years! Quick stand close to her and I'll get a picture." I did and we laughed all the way to the Koala cuddling.
The Koala was so cute and the pics are great. I thought briefly about trying to smuggle it out of Australia but decided that it might be difficult to get a plentiful supply of Eucalyptus in the UK. I think I'll just look for one on EBAY instead.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Auckland taco trauma
We said farewell to cool Queenstown and flew into Auckland for a day and a half.
Sinead had booked us into Base which turned out to be ace backpacker accommodation - shiny clean, good linen, tv, hairdryer and our own private wet room. The only downside was that Sinead got to strecth out in the double bed and I was still stuck in a top bunk. Fairness was restored, however, when Shin kept banging her head off the metal frame above her bed.
We figured there's not much to see in Auckland, so we quickly decided to make this 'down-time'. We opened the balcony doors to let the air and sunshine in, then spent sometime lying on our beds in our pants watching TV. "You know what would really make this briliant Lis?" "No, what?" "If Oprah was on." Sinead started flicking through the TV channels.
Shin is obsessed with Oprah and has been talking about her ever since we arrived in Vegas. "Argh! All American TV shows is dramatic news or the bloody weather Lis. Where's Oprah?" We passed a newsagents and Shin spotted the National Enquirer announcing that Oprah and Steadman had split up. "Ha, ha. That's cause Oprah wants to go out with Gayle." I'm sorry to say I'm not up on my Oprah-knowledge so I had no idea who Gayle was. "Oh yeah, it's been a big rumour for years and Oprah even denounced it on her show." I suggested Sinead put a bet on Oprah and Gayle going public in 2008 when she gets back home, but she said she'd get poor odds it's so obvious.
When we were on our trashy celebrity tour in Hollywood and the driver pointed out Dr Phil's house. Sinead announced loudly "I think he's having an affair with Oprah." I told her to keep her voice down as saying anything against Oprah is considered blasphemy in the US. Anyway, there was no Oprah in Auckland and we were getting hungry so we got ready and went out.
Kiwis love their pies, and they have some strange combinations like steak and cheese, and mince and cheese. Back in New Plymouth with Jenny and Ben, we'd voiced our reluctance at sampling such a 'delicacy', but by now we felt we had to see what all the fuss was about. We agreed that we would head off in search of a quality pie. I consulted the Lonely Planet and found out Ponsonby Pies on Ponsonby Road was supposed to be good.
Auckland isn't all that compact and we discovered that Ponsoby is actually a separate area some distance from the City Centre. Then we discovered that Ponsonby Road is one of the longest roads ever. We walked up and down it twice before Shin popped her head into Sugar Brown's Bakery to ask where the Pie shop was. The girl said she'd been there before but couldn't exactly remember where it was. She told us it was on the opposite side of the road and back in the direction we'd come from. We still couldn't find it. "I should just write things down" I said. Sinead didn't answer. A short while later, she announced she was getting delirious and had to have something to eat NOW! So we stopped at this place called The Chapel. The waitress told us that the Fish of the Day was a 'Bluenose' and Shin looked at me with a raised eyebrow and said: "Well, we'll no be having that in the chapel." Ha ha ha ha.
Our sugar levels restored on some tapas items, we headed back into the city centre and down to the waterfront. We got ice creams and sat on a bench watching the commuter ferries departing.
We started the next day with tea and toast at Base. We discussed Margaret Thatcher and whether or not she'd get a state funeral. "Oh she bloody will as well," said Shin, "but I bet there'll be loads of protests. It'll be great." "Do you remember when she got totally quizzed by an audience member about the sinking of the Belgrano?" "Yeah, she was struggling to comprehend the fact that someone was challenging 'the Prime Minister." "Brilliant." "Let's You Tube it later."
We looked round the shops but they were in short supply, so we went to the cinema and booked tickets for a film that evening. Then we headed down to the waterfront and got some tacos for lunch. I asked for one with steak and one with chicken, but the guy made one with steak and one with steak and chicken. Hawkeye Shin had clocked this and said we ordered one with steak and one with chicken. The guy tried to say this is what we had, but it wasn't. The guy then admitted he'd made a mistake and put some steak in the chicken one and could we not just take it. The crazy fool was all gesturing and making pleading faces and thumbs up signs to Sinead. My heart sank and I started to walk away because I knew this was a mortal error. Sinead looked right at him then started speaking loudly, clearly and slowly. "One with steak. One with chicken. It's really not that difficult. I'm not eating that and I'd like you to make what was ordered in the first place. It's simple." The guy did as he was told. Who wouldn't?
Given the trauma of ordering the things, they were actually really tasty and we sat in the sun and washed them down with a couple of cold beers. Bliss. We continued on to the Market Square area and discovered an open-air Irish pub showing the tennis. We got 2 jugs of Pimms and watched Sharapova and Jankovic. "I'm lovin this Lis. This is great." We stayed there until the sun started to fade then we walked back to get ready for a night at the flicks. "Let's tackle the bags in the morning," I said eyeing mine ominously. "Agreed."
Sinead had booked us into Base which turned out to be ace backpacker accommodation - shiny clean, good linen, tv, hairdryer and our own private wet room. The only downside was that Sinead got to strecth out in the double bed and I was still stuck in a top bunk. Fairness was restored, however, when Shin kept banging her head off the metal frame above her bed.
We figured there's not much to see in Auckland, so we quickly decided to make this 'down-time'. We opened the balcony doors to let the air and sunshine in, then spent sometime lying on our beds in our pants watching TV. "You know what would really make this briliant Lis?" "No, what?" "If Oprah was on." Sinead started flicking through the TV channels.
Shin is obsessed with Oprah and has been talking about her ever since we arrived in Vegas. "Argh! All American TV shows is dramatic news or the bloody weather Lis. Where's Oprah?" We passed a newsagents and Shin spotted the National Enquirer announcing that Oprah and Steadman had split up. "Ha, ha. That's cause Oprah wants to go out with Gayle." I'm sorry to say I'm not up on my Oprah-knowledge so I had no idea who Gayle was. "Oh yeah, it's been a big rumour for years and Oprah even denounced it on her show." I suggested Sinead put a bet on Oprah and Gayle going public in 2008 when she gets back home, but she said she'd get poor odds it's so obvious.
When we were on our trashy celebrity tour in Hollywood and the driver pointed out Dr Phil's house. Sinead announced loudly "I think he's having an affair with Oprah." I told her to keep her voice down as saying anything against Oprah is considered blasphemy in the US. Anyway, there was no Oprah in Auckland and we were getting hungry so we got ready and went out.
Kiwis love their pies, and they have some strange combinations like steak and cheese, and mince and cheese. Back in New Plymouth with Jenny and Ben, we'd voiced our reluctance at sampling such a 'delicacy', but by now we felt we had to see what all the fuss was about. We agreed that we would head off in search of a quality pie. I consulted the Lonely Planet and found out Ponsonby Pies on Ponsonby Road was supposed to be good.
Auckland isn't all that compact and we discovered that Ponsoby is actually a separate area some distance from the City Centre. Then we discovered that Ponsonby Road is one of the longest roads ever. We walked up and down it twice before Shin popped her head into Sugar Brown's Bakery to ask where the Pie shop was. The girl said she'd been there before but couldn't exactly remember where it was. She told us it was on the opposite side of the road and back in the direction we'd come from. We still couldn't find it. "I should just write things down" I said. Sinead didn't answer. A short while later, she announced she was getting delirious and had to have something to eat NOW! So we stopped at this place called The Chapel. The waitress told us that the Fish of the Day was a 'Bluenose' and Shin looked at me with a raised eyebrow and said: "Well, we'll no be having that in the chapel." Ha ha ha ha.
Our sugar levels restored on some tapas items, we headed back into the city centre and down to the waterfront. We got ice creams and sat on a bench watching the commuter ferries departing.
We started the next day with tea and toast at Base. We discussed Margaret Thatcher and whether or not she'd get a state funeral. "Oh she bloody will as well," said Shin, "but I bet there'll be loads of protests. It'll be great." "Do you remember when she got totally quizzed by an audience member about the sinking of the Belgrano?" "Yeah, she was struggling to comprehend the fact that someone was challenging 'the Prime Minister." "Brilliant." "Let's You Tube it later."
We looked round the shops but they were in short supply, so we went to the cinema and booked tickets for a film that evening. Then we headed down to the waterfront and got some tacos for lunch. I asked for one with steak and one with chicken, but the guy made one with steak and one with steak and chicken. Hawkeye Shin had clocked this and said we ordered one with steak and one with chicken. The guy tried to say this is what we had, but it wasn't. The guy then admitted he'd made a mistake and put some steak in the chicken one and could we not just take it. The crazy fool was all gesturing and making pleading faces and thumbs up signs to Sinead. My heart sank and I started to walk away because I knew this was a mortal error. Sinead looked right at him then started speaking loudly, clearly and slowly. "One with steak. One with chicken. It's really not that difficult. I'm not eating that and I'd like you to make what was ordered in the first place. It's simple." The guy did as he was told. Who wouldn't?
Given the trauma of ordering the things, they were actually really tasty and we sat in the sun and washed them down with a couple of cold beers. Bliss. We continued on to the Market Square area and discovered an open-air Irish pub showing the tennis. We got 2 jugs of Pimms and watched Sharapova and Jankovic. "I'm lovin this Lis. This is great." We stayed there until the sun started to fade then we walked back to get ready for a night at the flicks. "Let's tackle the bags in the morning," I said eyeing mine ominously. "Agreed."
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Water & wine
Queenstown is an adrenalin junkie's paradise, so I feel like I do have to try stuff that's a bit out of the norm.
My first activity was the paragliding. I'll admit I felt a little bit nauseous as we were making our way to the Skyline Gondola. Walking past Harry's Bar at 10am, I couldn't help but hear they were blasting out 'Knocking on Heaven's Door'. "I hope that's not a warning," I said to Shin.
At the top of the mountain, I meet Brady - my pilot. We trek even further up the mountain and arrive at the open top. It looks really, really high. Brady gets me suited up, sticks a crash helmet on me, then begins sorting out the parachute. He explains that when he tells me to, he wants me to start walking, then running. Apparently, I've to keep running until there's no ground under my feet.
"So, basically, Brady, you want me to just run off the side of this mountain?"
"That's it Lis. Easy as that."
"So, eh, just ... em... off... the eh...the em... mountain?" I'm gesturing and giving plenty of assertive head nods but I'm totally nervous.
Shin is bouncing about like a happy hobbit. "Ha ha, you look like a nut case in that gear Lis." "Shut it, so do you." Shin spots Glenda, a 75 year old going for it too. "Oh she's so cute," Shin exclaims, "Look at her wee shoes."
Glenda goes first. Gav and Brady basically throw Glenda and her pilot off the mountain. But it's all going well and I can hear Glenda making positive sounds up in the air.
"OK Lis, because you're 50 years younger, you don't get any help," says Brady.
"So I'm ...em ...with the ... the em ... running thing... right?"
"OK Lis, you're a legend babe. Start walking."
I do and I feel the pull of the chute behind me. I keep going.
"Run baby run!" Brady shouts excitedly.
I do. I keep running. I run right off the mountain. I keep running til Brady points out I'm running on fresh air and I can sit back and enjoy the ride. How cool is this. It's amazing. I feel fantastic. So smooth. The whole town opens up beneath me. Like way, way beneath me. I start speaking like Brady.
"This is awesome." I shout
"Dude." He says in agreement.
The next day is river surfing. At 9am we drive to the start of the route. Another day, another chance for me to put on a wetsuit and risk some more bruises. Shin, wisely, has decided to give it a miss and is snoozing in her bed as I jump 25 ft off some rocks into the freezing cold river. Bjorn and Thomas - the guides are pretty hands off and basically let us get on with it.
My experience with activities is that they are never as scary or full on as they seem. I take all that back now. Grade 4 rapids - totally terrifying! I get sucked down into whirlpools and crash over some surprisingly big waves. It's exhilarating stuff - especially when I manage to surf along one of the waves.
Annoyingly, a Spanish woman surfs over the top of me and traps me under water. I can't surface. I get sucked down further. In desperation, I let go of my board, turn into the Hulk and propel myself out of the water. I don't know if I roared out loud, but I definitely did on the inside. The Spanish woman says "Sorry" and, despite the fact that she just nearly killed me, I smile back and say "It's fine. Don't worry about it."
The river goes quiet again and I float for a bit. It's the same place they filmed Lord of the Rings where Frodo sails past the pillars of the Kings. Cool as anything.
Bjorn and Thomas take us out of the river to show us the next stage of our journey. "This is the Chinese Dogleg." I look down and see about a mile of furious rapids crashing over rocks and forming big waves and little whirlpools. They've got to be kidding. But apparently they're not. "OK guys - upstream and out, downstream onto the first wave, barrel-roll the second, duck-dive the third then stay left as the river splits and we don't want to lose anyone."
3 waves? I can see about 20. I'm so not going to get this right. We head out and my heart is pumping full on as I face down the first set of waves. Miraculously, I manage it. Bjorn decides I'm fine and goes off to the aid of one of the others. I'm kicking left like he told me. Kicking left, left, left.
Suddenly Thomas is roaring at me to go right. Apparently I've gone too far left. I turn and kick and kick but the river is far too strong and it's just carrying me where it wants.
"Right, right, right," Thomas is still roaring. "You're going to hit the rocks."
I can see I'm going to hit the rocks. They're right in front of me and I can't move.
"You'll hit the rocks Lisa."
"I know," I shout back at him.
"Are you kicking?"
No Thomas, I'm just lying here like it's a lilo not bothering about the impending doom I see before me ... "of course, I'm fu*king kicking!"
As I start to go over the first of the rocks his face crumples into a look that says 'I'm not sure I'll be able to recover all the parts of your body.' It all happens really quickly and the only thing I'm aware of is some kind of tearing on my right hand which is under the board.
I get through it and Thomas looks both amazed and relieved. He grabs me and pulls me into the middle of the river. We're not in the middle of some grade 3 rapids which feels like a holiday compared to the Chinese Dogleg. I make it to the end of the course before everyone else - so I guess my shortcut over the rocks helped. My fingers are missing quite a lot of skin and bleeding quite a lot, but I feel great.
Telling Shin about it later, she asks with a chuckle: "So, would you say you enjoyed it?"
"I know it sounds utterly perverse given what I've just told you, but yeah, I really did!" What a weirdo!
In the evening I realise that all my muscles are aching and my right ankle is really sore. I explain to Shin that I broke my left ankle when I fell off a hill in Skye and my right one now does all the work (though it's still carrying that injury from the coconut). It was clearly exhausted by the kicking in the flippers. After some harassment, Shin agrees to rotate it for me and make it crack. She has to put on her music so she won't hear it, but when it does crack she feels it and screams then refuses to do it again. "You need Jo, Lis. She'd love doing that. She'd peel all your skin off too!"
Today was the turn of the wine tour. I wake up early and discover it's pouring down outside. Glad I've got the wine tour booked, getting merry on pinot noir sounds like an excellent way to spend a rainy day. "Oh, there will be plenty of old men with grey hair, beards and moobs so you'll enjoy that," Shin says as I'm leaving.
I get picked up by Wendy and meet my fellow quaffers Brett and Anne from Ontario. We're joined by 2 girls from Cork and Honeymooners Bill and Nicole from Chicago. We head to the Peregrine winery where we sample 2 rieslings (which are bone dry and all the better for it in my opinion), a pinot gris (which smells and tastes of pineapple) and 2 pinot noirs. Everyone seems nice, but quiet and subdued.
By the second winery, it's all change. Raucous! We get to try a sweet riesling, an oaked Chardonnay and an unoaked one and 2 more pinot noir. We sit down for lunch (breads, salami, chorizo, houmous, sun-dried tomato pesto, cherry chutney - delicious). I have a glass of the 2004 reserve pinot noir and Anne and I find we like the same kind of wines. "Bigger the better," I say. "In fact, I like them so big you need a note from your mum to drink them." Anne thinks this is hilarious and writes it down. "I'm going to use that," She tells Brett. I tell her I'm available on a retainer basis.
I'm feeling all warm and bendy so have gone into 'holding court' mode and am telling stories and laughing at my own jokes. I'm glad Sinead isn't here - she'd be mortified and probably slap me.
At the Rockburn winery, we're treated to an impromptu tour of the production site by Malcolm the winemaker. He's really down to earth and is able to answer my question about compensating for the air in screw caps versus corks. Cool. Their 2006 Pinot Noir is a knock-out, but unfortunately they don't yet have a distributor in the UK.
Finally, we stop at the Farm and try their bubbles and 4 other wines of our choosing. I opt for the 2004 & 2005 Pinot Gris and the Viper & the Tiger pinot noirs - though to be honest I'm finding it more and more difficult to discern the differences! Hee hee hee.
I ask Wendy to stop off at a road-side fruit seller so I can buy some of their big juicy cherries. Amazing. You get about 200 in a bag and they only cost about 1.50 GBP. Last time I bought cherries M&S charged me seven quid!!
Did some shopping in Untouched World and resisted buying a cool pair of red shoes. About to join the Shinbob for a drink and a bit of the Australian Open.
My first activity was the paragliding. I'll admit I felt a little bit nauseous as we were making our way to the Skyline Gondola. Walking past Harry's Bar at 10am, I couldn't help but hear they were blasting out 'Knocking on Heaven's Door'. "I hope that's not a warning," I said to Shin.
At the top of the mountain, I meet Brady - my pilot. We trek even further up the mountain and arrive at the open top. It looks really, really high. Brady gets me suited up, sticks a crash helmet on me, then begins sorting out the parachute. He explains that when he tells me to, he wants me to start walking, then running. Apparently, I've to keep running until there's no ground under my feet.
"So, basically, Brady, you want me to just run off the side of this mountain?"
"That's it Lis. Easy as that."
"So, eh, just ... em... off... the eh...the em... mountain?" I'm gesturing and giving plenty of assertive head nods but I'm totally nervous.
Shin is bouncing about like a happy hobbit. "Ha ha, you look like a nut case in that gear Lis." "Shut it, so do you." Shin spots Glenda, a 75 year old going for it too. "Oh she's so cute," Shin exclaims, "Look at her wee shoes."
Glenda goes first. Gav and Brady basically throw Glenda and her pilot off the mountain. But it's all going well and I can hear Glenda making positive sounds up in the air.
"OK Lis, because you're 50 years younger, you don't get any help," says Brady.
"So I'm ...em ...with the ... the em ... running thing... right?"
"OK Lis, you're a legend babe. Start walking."
I do and I feel the pull of the chute behind me. I keep going.
"Run baby run!" Brady shouts excitedly.
I do. I keep running. I run right off the mountain. I keep running til Brady points out I'm running on fresh air and I can sit back and enjoy the ride. How cool is this. It's amazing. I feel fantastic. So smooth. The whole town opens up beneath me. Like way, way beneath me. I start speaking like Brady.
"This is awesome." I shout
"Dude." He says in agreement.
The next day is river surfing. At 9am we drive to the start of the route. Another day, another chance for me to put on a wetsuit and risk some more bruises. Shin, wisely, has decided to give it a miss and is snoozing in her bed as I jump 25 ft off some rocks into the freezing cold river. Bjorn and Thomas - the guides are pretty hands off and basically let us get on with it.
My experience with activities is that they are never as scary or full on as they seem. I take all that back now. Grade 4 rapids - totally terrifying! I get sucked down into whirlpools and crash over some surprisingly big waves. It's exhilarating stuff - especially when I manage to surf along one of the waves.
Annoyingly, a Spanish woman surfs over the top of me and traps me under water. I can't surface. I get sucked down further. In desperation, I let go of my board, turn into the Hulk and propel myself out of the water. I don't know if I roared out loud, but I definitely did on the inside. The Spanish woman says "Sorry" and, despite the fact that she just nearly killed me, I smile back and say "It's fine. Don't worry about it."
The river goes quiet again and I float for a bit. It's the same place they filmed Lord of the Rings where Frodo sails past the pillars of the Kings. Cool as anything.
Bjorn and Thomas take us out of the river to show us the next stage of our journey. "This is the Chinese Dogleg." I look down and see about a mile of furious rapids crashing over rocks and forming big waves and little whirlpools. They've got to be kidding. But apparently they're not. "OK guys - upstream and out, downstream onto the first wave, barrel-roll the second, duck-dive the third then stay left as the river splits and we don't want to lose anyone."
3 waves? I can see about 20. I'm so not going to get this right. We head out and my heart is pumping full on as I face down the first set of waves. Miraculously, I manage it. Bjorn decides I'm fine and goes off to the aid of one of the others. I'm kicking left like he told me. Kicking left, left, left.
Suddenly Thomas is roaring at me to go right. Apparently I've gone too far left. I turn and kick and kick but the river is far too strong and it's just carrying me where it wants.
"Right, right, right," Thomas is still roaring. "You're going to hit the rocks."
I can see I'm going to hit the rocks. They're right in front of me and I can't move.
"You'll hit the rocks Lisa."
"I know," I shout back at him.
"Are you kicking?"
No Thomas, I'm just lying here like it's a lilo not bothering about the impending doom I see before me ... "of course, I'm fu*king kicking!"
As I start to go over the first of the rocks his face crumples into a look that says 'I'm not sure I'll be able to recover all the parts of your body.' It all happens really quickly and the only thing I'm aware of is some kind of tearing on my right hand which is under the board.
I get through it and Thomas looks both amazed and relieved. He grabs me and pulls me into the middle of the river. We're not in the middle of some grade 3 rapids which feels like a holiday compared to the Chinese Dogleg. I make it to the end of the course before everyone else - so I guess my shortcut over the rocks helped. My fingers are missing quite a lot of skin and bleeding quite a lot, but I feel great.
Telling Shin about it later, she asks with a chuckle: "So, would you say you enjoyed it?"
"I know it sounds utterly perverse given what I've just told you, but yeah, I really did!" What a weirdo!
In the evening I realise that all my muscles are aching and my right ankle is really sore. I explain to Shin that I broke my left ankle when I fell off a hill in Skye and my right one now does all the work (though it's still carrying that injury from the coconut). It was clearly exhausted by the kicking in the flippers. After some harassment, Shin agrees to rotate it for me and make it crack. She has to put on her music so she won't hear it, but when it does crack she feels it and screams then refuses to do it again. "You need Jo, Lis. She'd love doing that. She'd peel all your skin off too!"
Today was the turn of the wine tour. I wake up early and discover it's pouring down outside. Glad I've got the wine tour booked, getting merry on pinot noir sounds like an excellent way to spend a rainy day. "Oh, there will be plenty of old men with grey hair, beards and moobs so you'll enjoy that," Shin says as I'm leaving.
I get picked up by Wendy and meet my fellow quaffers Brett and Anne from Ontario. We're joined by 2 girls from Cork and Honeymooners Bill and Nicole from Chicago. We head to the Peregrine winery where we sample 2 rieslings (which are bone dry and all the better for it in my opinion), a pinot gris (which smells and tastes of pineapple) and 2 pinot noirs. Everyone seems nice, but quiet and subdued.
By the second winery, it's all change. Raucous! We get to try a sweet riesling, an oaked Chardonnay and an unoaked one and 2 more pinot noir. We sit down for lunch (breads, salami, chorizo, houmous, sun-dried tomato pesto, cherry chutney - delicious). I have a glass of the 2004 reserve pinot noir and Anne and I find we like the same kind of wines. "Bigger the better," I say. "In fact, I like them so big you need a note from your mum to drink them." Anne thinks this is hilarious and writes it down. "I'm going to use that," She tells Brett. I tell her I'm available on a retainer basis.
I'm feeling all warm and bendy so have gone into 'holding court' mode and am telling stories and laughing at my own jokes. I'm glad Sinead isn't here - she'd be mortified and probably slap me.
At the Rockburn winery, we're treated to an impromptu tour of the production site by Malcolm the winemaker. He's really down to earth and is able to answer my question about compensating for the air in screw caps versus corks. Cool. Their 2006 Pinot Noir is a knock-out, but unfortunately they don't yet have a distributor in the UK.
Finally, we stop at the Farm and try their bubbles and 4 other wines of our choosing. I opt for the 2004 & 2005 Pinot Gris and the Viper & the Tiger pinot noirs - though to be honest I'm finding it more and more difficult to discern the differences! Hee hee hee.
I ask Wendy to stop off at a road-side fruit seller so I can buy some of their big juicy cherries. Amazing. You get about 200 in a bag and they only cost about 1.50 GBP. Last time I bought cherries M&S charged me seven quid!!
Did some shopping in Untouched World and resisted buying a cool pair of red shoes. About to join the Shinbob for a drink and a bit of the Australian Open.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Welly Town
Surviving my game of chicken with the trucks on the Thermal Explorer Highway, we got into Wellington on Wednesday night. We check into the downtown hostel and get the lift up to the 5th floor. In the lift with us are a 17 year old Kiwi boy and girl. The boy is the campest guy I've ever seen and he really does squeal when Shin tells him we're from Scotland. "We're from the South Island," he says, "we're just here for a night out and getting the ferry back to Christchurch tomorrow. You totally have to come out with us. It's student night and it $2 a drink. You gotta come out with us. It's like totally student night."
They get out on the third floor and I turn to Shin and say: "OK. So now I actually feel like I'm 103." She laughs and says: "I think we just met the 'only gay on the South Island." We get to the room and discover we have bunk beds. Shin tells me I've to take the top one. I climb up the steps precariously - feeling even more ancient - and crawl along the bed. It's totally shaking and wobbling. "Shin I think this is going to fall on you." Sinead tightens some of the screws and then says: "I like that we have bunk beds. It means I can talk to you without having to look at you." She's so sweet and lovely.
The accommodation is really central so we popped out for a wee walk and a few shandies. We begin the next day by hiring bikes and cycling along the promenade. We don't have a map or a guidebook and haven't discussed what we want to 'achieve' for the day, so I start getting twitchy. I can tell Sinead is about 3 seconds from knocking me off my bike and driving over me repeatedly, so I suggest we split up to do our own thing and meet back at 4pm to get the cable car to the botanic gardens.
I go shopping and buy myself another pair of Havianas and two pairs of big sunglasses (one in baby pink and one in red). I check out the beautifully restored Embassy Theatre where they had the Lord of the Rings premiere, browse in the book shops and have lunch at a Turkish restaurant whilst doing a spot of writing.
At 4pm, we meet and take the cable car to the top of the hill. I show Sinead my sunglasses and she laughs her head off at me. "It's an individual look, Lis." We're sitting on the tram and I'm holding an oversized bag with my new shoes in it. The straps on my vest tops have fallen down and I'm wearing tiny little shorts. Sinead looks at me and erupts: "You look like you're totally naked apart from those ridiculous Elton John specs. You're a total nutcase." "Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?" "No, not all the time."
We're rewarded with stunning views of Wellington when we get to the top. We end up going to the Cable Car museum, which was actually really interesting. They had a replica of an old cable car so I got Shin to snap some pictures of me with my specs and oversized bag. "Lis, I can't believe you're making me do this. It's like porn - in a tram." We laughed at the photos all the way back down the hill.
Back on the waterfront, we had a couple of drinks at an outdoor bar and I headed along to Te Papa - the National Museum. It was excellent - really well-designed and loads to see. They even had an outdoor section that was like a prehistoric jungle with caves and areas where kids could dig up bones and stuff.
That night, we went out to an Italian restaurant that was supposed to be traditional and homely. Thus, we were quite amused to find chicken curry on the menu. We went back home after that and tried to get everything into our bags. It's getting harder and harder!
The next morning, we caught a flight to Queenstown via Christchurch and Shin got chatted up by a big Kiwi called Greg. He had huge hands and could lift our bags really easily.
They get out on the third floor and I turn to Shin and say: "OK. So now I actually feel like I'm 103." She laughs and says: "I think we just met the 'only gay on the South Island." We get to the room and discover we have bunk beds. Shin tells me I've to take the top one. I climb up the steps precariously - feeling even more ancient - and crawl along the bed. It's totally shaking and wobbling. "Shin I think this is going to fall on you." Sinead tightens some of the screws and then says: "I like that we have bunk beds. It means I can talk to you without having to look at you." She's so sweet and lovely.
The accommodation is really central so we popped out for a wee walk and a few shandies. We begin the next day by hiring bikes and cycling along the promenade. We don't have a map or a guidebook and haven't discussed what we want to 'achieve' for the day, so I start getting twitchy. I can tell Sinead is about 3 seconds from knocking me off my bike and driving over me repeatedly, so I suggest we split up to do our own thing and meet back at 4pm to get the cable car to the botanic gardens.
I go shopping and buy myself another pair of Havianas and two pairs of big sunglasses (one in baby pink and one in red). I check out the beautifully restored Embassy Theatre where they had the Lord of the Rings premiere, browse in the book shops and have lunch at a Turkish restaurant whilst doing a spot of writing.
At 4pm, we meet and take the cable car to the top of the hill. I show Sinead my sunglasses and she laughs her head off at me. "It's an individual look, Lis." We're sitting on the tram and I'm holding an oversized bag with my new shoes in it. The straps on my vest tops have fallen down and I'm wearing tiny little shorts. Sinead looks at me and erupts: "You look like you're totally naked apart from those ridiculous Elton John specs. You're a total nutcase." "Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?" "No, not all the time."
We're rewarded with stunning views of Wellington when we get to the top. We end up going to the Cable Car museum, which was actually really interesting. They had a replica of an old cable car so I got Shin to snap some pictures of me with my specs and oversized bag. "Lis, I can't believe you're making me do this. It's like porn - in a tram." We laughed at the photos all the way back down the hill.
Back on the waterfront, we had a couple of drinks at an outdoor bar and I headed along to Te Papa - the National Museum. It was excellent - really well-designed and loads to see. They even had an outdoor section that was like a prehistoric jungle with caves and areas where kids could dig up bones and stuff.
That night, we went out to an Italian restaurant that was supposed to be traditional and homely. Thus, we were quite amused to find chicken curry on the menu. We went back home after that and tried to get everything into our bags. It's getting harder and harder!
The next morning, we caught a flight to Queenstown via Christchurch and Shin got chatted up by a big Kiwi called Greg. He had huge hands and could lift our bags really easily.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Bints in mud
We went for a mud bath on our last morning in Rotorua. Shin had said she was up for it on the first day: "We can roll around like pigs in mud," she said. I misheard her and thought she said: "bints in mud." So this became a point of hilarity for us while we were sitting in the mud bath letting the healing properties bake into our skin.
The guy supervising our experience took some pictures (with my camera, not for his own weird collection) then hosed us down (with freezing cold water from a garden hose). It was strangely pleasurable (I'm getting worried about myself - apparently that starts to happen when you get to my age.)
We were all rejuvenated and ready for our epic 6 hour drive to Wellington.
The road to Wellington is really long. It's called the Thermal Explorer Highway when you first leave Rotorua on account of the waterfalls, sulphur springs and other geothermal activity. Anyway, my solo trip to Waitomo had passed completely without incident so, naturally, the balance had to be restored. This is how it happened:
We were stuck behind a big lorry carrying lots of cows. He was going pretty slow, but every time I pulled out to check the road ahead there was a corner or a dip or a hill. This went on for 15 mins. Finally, I took a look - straight, flat road ahead and a truck way, way in the distance. I went for it - floored Mugabe and pulled out.
I soon realised a number of things: I wasn't really getting anywhere; the livestock transporter was a lot longer than it looked; it now seemed to be going faster; Mugabe wasn't getting any faster; oh and the truck coming towards me was getting much closer.
I decided I didn't much like this situation. I was about halfway along the livestock truck doing 120km/ph and staring down a massive grill plate from the truck speeding towards me. Surprisingly, given the increasing gravity of the situation, Sinead was still reclining in the passenger's seat. "Do you think I can make it?" I asked quite calmly. "I hope so," she answered in a resigned fashion.
I decide I can't make it. I also think I don't have time to slow down and pull back in behind the livestock truck. So I turn right instead and 'fly' off the road at speed, between two posts.
Mugabe drops about 3 feet and travels over a series of grassy dips - I've still got my foot to the floor. "Do you think I should stop for a bit?" "Aye, I think that would be a good idea."
After a moment or two, we get back on the road.
"Mugabe survives an assassination attempt," Shin announces in newsreader style. "By one of his own" I add. "An inside job. Corrupt official." We go quiet for a while and then Sinead bursts out laughing and says: "Bloody Henri Paul."
I apologise and promise the rest of the journey will pass without further incident. And, apart from a little sing-a-long with Sonny&Cher's 'I Got You Babe', it does indeed.
The guy supervising our experience took some pictures (with my camera, not for his own weird collection) then hosed us down (with freezing cold water from a garden hose). It was strangely pleasurable (I'm getting worried about myself - apparently that starts to happen when you get to my age.)
We were all rejuvenated and ready for our epic 6 hour drive to Wellington.
The road to Wellington is really long. It's called the Thermal Explorer Highway when you first leave Rotorua on account of the waterfalls, sulphur springs and other geothermal activity. Anyway, my solo trip to Waitomo had passed completely without incident so, naturally, the balance had to be restored. This is how it happened:
We were stuck behind a big lorry carrying lots of cows. He was going pretty slow, but every time I pulled out to check the road ahead there was a corner or a dip or a hill. This went on for 15 mins. Finally, I took a look - straight, flat road ahead and a truck way, way in the distance. I went for it - floored Mugabe and pulled out.
I soon realised a number of things: I wasn't really getting anywhere; the livestock transporter was a lot longer than it looked; it now seemed to be going faster; Mugabe wasn't getting any faster; oh and the truck coming towards me was getting much closer.
I decided I didn't much like this situation. I was about halfway along the livestock truck doing 120km/ph and staring down a massive grill plate from the truck speeding towards me. Surprisingly, given the increasing gravity of the situation, Sinead was still reclining in the passenger's seat. "Do you think I can make it?" I asked quite calmly. "I hope so," she answered in a resigned fashion.
I decide I can't make it. I also think I don't have time to slow down and pull back in behind the livestock truck. So I turn right instead and 'fly' off the road at speed, between two posts.
Mugabe drops about 3 feet and travels over a series of grassy dips - I've still got my foot to the floor. "Do you think I should stop for a bit?" "Aye, I think that would be a good idea."
After a moment or two, we get back on the road.
"Mugabe survives an assassination attempt," Shin announces in newsreader style. "By one of his own" I add. "An inside job. Corrupt official." We go quiet for a while and then Sinead bursts out laughing and says: "Bloody Henri Paul."
I apologise and promise the rest of the journey will pass without further incident. And, apart from a little sing-a-long with Sonny&Cher's 'I Got You Babe', it does indeed.
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